3 Rules of Social Selling Etiquette
“Have I got a deal for you my friend!”
Those words have become so cliché, they send shivers down my spine just thinking of them. Visions of wide smiling, bad suit wearing, slick hair sales men chomping at the bit to do whatever it takes to separate you from your cash.
Social media, my fellow socialites, is not about selling, it is about stating your presence and giving people options. You do not have to be shy about your intent, but there is a certain accepted etiquette.
Rule #1 No Blatant Self Advertising.
People hate to be hit over the head with the obvious advertisement about the greatness of your service. If the sole purpose of your blog is a brochure about you/your company/your product or if all you do is talk about how great you/your company/your product is, people will be turned off.
As I have stated before and will continue to state - social media is about connecting. If you are truly as great as you think you are and dominate the field where you feel you are an expert, you will be able to let others do all the promoting for you while you continue to provide stories and advice that highlight your expertise. Actions speak louder than words and you can sit there talking about how great you are or you can show it by providing useful information or entertainment.
This is also important when dealing with people face to face. No one likes to get stuck listening to a sales pitch. Don’t shy away from anyone who is obviously interested (”Oh really? Insurance salesman you say? Funny, I was just thinking about updating my policies!”) but most often people just ask what you do to be polite. (be sure you have your story ready 
)
Rule # 1.5 It is ok to “plug” yourself
Now it is perfectly acceptable to provide contact and hiring information in your communications. You do want to let people know that you are available and can be hired. People don’t mind this, in fact it is kind of expected. A simple, “If you enjoyed my post and would like hire me to speak at your event… contact me here…” If in person, handing your card and contact info to a person with a simple, “if you are ever looking for XXX then keep me in mind!” can be sufficient. Even better if you bring attention to it and say something unique. “You’ll want to hold onto that card! You never know when you’ll be in need of a freelance nuclear physicist and then you’ll kick yourself for losing that card!”
Rule #2 Be true to your motives
Some people have started blogs for the sole purpose of making money off the blog, others have started them as an extension of a business they already have going and still others are out there just to have fun and post about whatever. Know your motives and stay true to that! Too often I see blogs filled with ads, affiliate (schlepping stuff on your site for a cut of the sales) and banners that have nothing to do with the content of the blog.
Now the Social Media Networks are starting to provide ways for users to place ads and market stuff in their profiles. So you get everyone cramming as much stuff in there as possible in hopes that someone will click on something.
That doesn’t mean that just because your blog isn’t your sole money maker you can’t make a few bucks (or more 
).
If your communications are set up as an extension of your business, you do not want to distract people from your main message. For the “just for fun” blog or profile, be sure that what you are promoting matches your readers.
Some purists will disagree with me, but…
In my opinion, if you recommend books or products, there is no reason not to create an affiliate account and link back to them. Why not make a couple bucks IF it is something you can properly review and recommend. I am of the school of thought that full disclosure is important! People will respect that and be glad that you get a kickback.
Example: “This book I just read is so freaking sweet! It blew my mind! I highly recommend it. If I’m getting you pumped about reading this freaking sweet book, click on my affiliate link so I will get a kick back!”
(of course whenever I recommend a book, I always suggest hitting up the library first ).
Rule #3 Do not just add “friends!”
When I first joined MySpace back in 2004, I was suddenly hit up by everyone and their sister asking to be my friend! Boy, did I feel popular! Problem was, I didn’t even know who most of the people were. A friend of a friend… someone who went to my same school… and then came the spam accounts. I hate it when someone I don’t know just sends me a “friend” request without so much as an introduction (or a poor attempt at one, read: “I think U R cute, add me as a friend.” I know I’m cute, but if that’s all your interested in, keep on steppin!) I have a rule, I have to have either met the person face to face or have corresponded with them at least twice. Of course now I accept readers of my blogs who want to connect (and why I have my facebook contact listed at the left) but if there is no mention of the blog or a conversation to be had… sorry no go!
Shy away from just blanketing friend requests. This includes, but is not limited too…
“Hey, I saw that you liked this band/group/company… you might like me!”
“I read in your profile that you like to meet X type of people… I’m one of those people!”
“You are into X I may be able to help!”
Note: People that have a certain business or specific hobby interest tend to be more open to adding you as a friend, but be sure to include an introduction and intention for requesting the add. DO NOT BE OFFENDED IF THEY IGNORE YOUR REQUEST.
These rules give the basis of what I would consider a proper way to conduct yourself. The main point of Social Media is to build a connection and develop a relationship with people, so when they have a need that you can provide, they are more apt to turn to you, a trusted provider.
If three rules are too much to handle, just remember the golden rule, “Market unto others as you would have them market unto you!”
Rock on!
UPDATE 8/27/08
I am submitting this post as an example of Social Media Marketing Best Practices to “The Best Practices In Social Media Marketing Writing Project” instigated by Mitch Joel over at Six Pixels Of Separation.
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Comments
“Friend” is a very intimate term that is used loosely now-a-days. I once read somewhere that to really consider someone a friend, you have to ask yourself, “could I call this person at 3 am and ask a favor?”
I think a good, ambiguous term for all the online connections is just that… “connections.”
I like the fact that facebook allows you to organize your friends in to groups :). Keeps things simple ;).
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I think you’ve found the fine line, the way to walk the tight rope between blatant self-promotion and generating awareness of your offering…in a polite and courteous fashion. Good stuff.